People growing up and changing?

My sister got engaged.... Its exciting and fun I guess but shes wanting to do things a lot with other people and she doesnt realize shes hurting people feelings when she says she doesnt want their help. And she told my grandma she didnt want our little sister in her wedding because she wouldnt stand still she will be 10 years old shes the same age as she was when she stood in our dads wedding! So I told her I didnt want to be in it if she didnt want our little sister in her wedding. She said well i havent made up my mind yet but you were It was going to be one of her good friends a couple of other friends and then me. Her sister on the end. And i had her as my maid of honor in my wedding... I said ok. Thats fine she said well we dont always get along and me and so and so get along so i asked her. I said thats fine. Im her older sister. I had told my dad i was going to go with her at tax time and buy her wedding dress. Because i was her older sister and her matron of honor and i felt kinda motherly over her. But not now... I dont want to do her hair. I dont want to plan a shower. I dont want to go. She hates our little sister so bad because she was born and she took her old room. She wants that old room back so bad! She will tell you she hates her for being born! Because she took her room. My sister has a major middle child problem. And for her to hate our sister so much that she doesnt want her in her wedding is so mind boggling to me that i cant even grasp the whole thing. I had a big come to jesus with her! I said im not going to be in your wedding period. You pick friends over family and then you exclude your own sister! She said well they asked first... i didnt have no friends ask to be in my wedding! I just can not even get over that. Now shes saying she doesnt know who shes gonna have in it. And she might have our sister... That breaks my heart. Your siblings is your siblings! final! even if i was arguing with them if they needed me for ANYTHING i would be there for them. I am beyond disappointed and heart broken that she could think like this... I told her too. she said well everyone is telling me who should and shouldnt be in my wedding and where would be a nice place and people keep telling me ideas and want to help and i dont want their help... I said they only want the best and to help you. I made my sister my maid of honor because she was my sister i didnt ask any of my friends! Honestly i didnt care My baby had died a month before my wedding. I didnt care if i got married or not. My sister didnt plan me a shower or help me pick out anything or get me a gift or anything. And i never said one word. Til now. i told her how sucky of a job she did as my MOH. And i wished now that shes acting that way towards her sisters that i had of asked someone else... But for her to break the heart of a child thats her sister! is beyond me... Shes so childish herself i guess she cant help it. its sad.

Suspended from work? Maybe....

Yeah it happened... So what? LOL 

Well it all started when this girl hadnt been written up since she had been there because our manager has no back bone at all. She is the type of worker who comes to work 20 mins later shes like I have a migraine so shes sitting on the stoop lookin like a crack head smokin a cigg! And wearin her big black shades! Then 30 mins after she gets there shes like I gotta go I cant work with this head ache! So she would just straight walk outta the shop! And leave! So guess whos gotta work til from 10-9pm! ME and she was messy! She would do nothing but eat saltine crackers all over the shop! And leave crumbs everywhere you would always see piss ants carrying off crumbs like thanks for the food! And then I would get asked to clean up her nasty crumbs and clean down her station and put her hairy clippers away and clean her dirty combs! So I had spent the entire previous day cleaning combs and brushes because people just throw them in the disinfectant without washing them first and they are sitting in the drawers full of hair. Yeah makes you want to go get your hair done right? And  cleaning out stations and scrubbing down messes that other people were just to lazy to do before they left. So she had left her dirty hairy clippers at a station 3 days prior. Our big boss had come into the salon and asked whos nasty clippers are these? I said idk. So i have to clean them up! Again! So the store manager hides them she said well we will find out whos they are! I knew they were hers! Well she comes waltzin in the shop like idk what happened to my clippers but i need them! Blah Blah Blah! 

So i told her where they were but i said you need to start cleaning up your stuff Im tired of always having to clean up after you! Im not your maid! She said I know how to do my job dont start with me I got a migraine! (shes a known pill popper she even has asked customers for pills (y is she still employed!)) (So she was prob coming off of a high) So i told her dont be a bitch to me! Clean your shit period! IDC! what is wrong with you im not cleaning your stuff no more i will throw it in the dumpster! So she picks up her clippers and says im gonna smash in your teeth and bust you in your head say it again. I said what bitch? Yeah your a bitch clean your shit. She runs her mouth the other girl is freaking and she said no dont hit Kellie she will kill you! I said she isnt going to hit me she would have already You dont give people warnings. So i clocked out and i opened the door and told her she could bring her white trash outside if she wanted to act like we were in the trailer park! And i would stomp her old ass in the parking lot! So she starts crying and calls the manager. because she knew i was gonna stomp a mud hole in her! And they called the owner, she got fired and i got suspended. AND THEN! they gave me my shifts back! I was like mother fuckers! you just want a paper saying i got suspended! It was some shit! They told me even if people are trailer trash bitches i cant call them that! I have to be professional i said i think i did act really professional when I didnt get up and snatch her by her hair and drag her outside if she woulda hit me with her clippers i would have had to stomp her ass and hurt her. But as soon as i stood up she ran in the back and locked the door... SMH! Trashy!!! I swear. But that was the first time i have ever been disciplined at work! The owner and area manager were very shocked! I said well im going to stand up for myself! and if she had been fired a long time ago i wouldnt have had a altercation with her. Plus my grandpa had died and that was on the day of his funeral! And i wasnt allowed off for it And had to work! And the handbook says im allowed 3 days off. So yeah that making me work thing back fired on them. And my manager got in trouble for making me work while i was grieving because she had the day off and i offered to switch with her! So yeah try to take me down bitch! Ill sink the whole damn boat! And the same day i got a job offer from sports clips... still debating that offer!

A year later! What next?

Almost one year ago I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl anyone could ever ask for! NOW! She is almost one year old and I do not know how to feel about that! I have watched this amazing little person grow from being a 10.2 pound baby at birth to a 24 pound toddler! This past year has been so life changing for the better! I love her so much! I wake up in the mornings with a smile because shes there to greet me and shes so happy to see  me! I really am having a hard time dealing with her growing up! I dont remember those baby days as easily now. I really honest to God feel like i need medication because I have done nothing but be emotional ALL the time! Thinking about her growing up and not wanting to be my little girl one day about does me in! But I am planning her a wonderful birthday surprise! Not that she knows what that is yet but Im enjoying myself! Happy early birthday to my Sweet Allison Rose... I would not trade anything in the world for you or anyway you are! You are my pride and joy!!! I love you forever!

OH LOOK IM BLOGGING!

so its been a while last time i was here i was on the verge of going crazy! but alas im sane! but i must say i am enjoying work. its pretty nice. there are a few dumb asses every where u go but u know this is a pretty awesome store. and im making pretty amazing money... thats always nice. i can pay all the bills support my family buy baby needs and etc on what i make alone. im pretty awesome. I am totally in love with my sweet baby child she is the best person in this world! she has made me a wonderful person. u know im pretty happy with the life choices ive made. i have a house, a husband, a baby, a car, a great paying job. oh and amazing dog! he is pretty awesome right now hes chewing on a deer antler! because thats how awesome he is. he likes his organics over fake nasty plastic or rawhide! he says no mom they are yucky! give me deer! so on another note i got allisons pictures made today! shes so pretty! be jealous! oh on a side note u know whats awesome about antler? he cant go through it so fast! that thing lasts foreva!

A lil ol update on muh lifes!

So as most ppl know when i went back to work after maturnity leave i was transfered to another salon! and honestly i hated it so bad! i have never in my life worked somewhere that everyone hates each other SO bad! one person isnt there oh lets talk smack! lets make up crap lets do both and then freak on them the next time they walk in... yeah since i have been there i have been so stressed i have had bronchitis a sinus infection and shingles! yeah its been serious. And as most ppl have heard my work is having a 5.99 hair cut sale coming up. well thats a big deal we will have about 2+ hr waits all day for ten days! So when ppl are walking around work talking smack about they are going to quit a wk before the sale and leave us hanging because they are mad at the world and hate their life i mean y do you have to make my life difficult! ugh i hate that salon so bad! its everyone not just one person! then one girl quit and came back and whats the first thing that happens they try to talk smack about me well she shut them down she said we were great friends and i was her best work friend and she had no issues with me and thats how it was going to stay. so they stopped trying to make my life difficult for a while then they started to change tactics now they are trying to make us hate each other. im like u know yall bastards have no life. your nothing but a bunch of drunk pot heads! who come to work fucked up and the managers appearantly like the shit and baggage u bring so they talk about how much they want to replace you but never fire your crummy ass! i mean appearantly i dont fit into their ring so they dont like me. cause when i first came there and they asked me about certain extra activites i was into and i said uhm i just had a baby i dont think getting high and partying all night with you and taking pills is part of my lifestyle you had issues with me. BUT the light has shown through! im finally being transfered again! im going to a greensboro store! YAY im so excited! ugh the ppl here hopefully wont hate me because i have a strong work ethic and i dont want to do drugs with them i mean WTFH! really that just pisses me off i walked into work today and they were like we cant make any money today cause ur here and you cut faster than us blah blah blah. well y is it taking you 25+ mins to do clippers on the sides and shears on top? i can keep n my guide lines and i sell products EVERYDAY and yes i do make more money than yall but u know what its cause u stand there and run ur mouth and dont cut! thats y ur slow! no one cares about ur issues they want to tell u about theirs! duh! and this guy today freaked the hell out he said he was never coming back if it took 40 mins to do a 3 on the sides and finger length on top! this chick is slow and old get your slow old ass a booth if u want to take that long! ppl dont want to hear about ur fat butts infertility problems or anything else! shut the fuck up and cut. i mean she got upset but uhm 40 mins really i did 3 cuts in the time it took u to do that plus sold a product and made tips off each person then a girl tried to keep my tip today. we had a combined ticket and she did the lady i did the man they left 5 dollars to split. i know that aint a lot but it adds up! i said uhm they only left 5 wheres my half. she said oh i thought they tipped u too.... i aint made no money all morning your ppl have been tippin mine havent! i said i dont care! i did half that ticket split it chick! she acted pissed but u aint takin my money bitch! and this store steals! you cant bring nothing in the store! they will go through your purse! steal out of your wallet go through the text messages on your phone you have to keep a password on your phone! thats some shit. then when you call them out on it or u tell the manager it all flys back in your face your the bad guy well next time i catch someone on my fucking phone im going to jersey shore their ass! and bitch slap em! bring it on! oh im so glad to be moving thank you dear general manager for moving me! because i was seriously looking for another job! i hate bitches...

Real friends...

Its funny how you can be friends with someone for so long! and they do nothing but hurt you... I mean if your working at a job and we have worked together for 4 years and you get transfered to another store then get fired and you LIE to me about WHY you got fired then im at my store saying how unfair it is of them to fire you when you did nothing wrong they were just discriminating against you because of health problems or something and the manager has to pull me aside and tell me that you were fired for STEALING! that hurts my feelings so bad! and you never ever ever say anything to disprove that! gosh... i today mourn a friendship with someone who i thought was not only a friend to me but also a family member! and someone who i could talk to. but i guess you know something is fishy about it when they dont even come to your wedding. you know.

And then when you try to be a good friend and be there for them through the death of their child and be there for them when all hell breaks loose in their family and they are crying and have no one else on their side you find out they are talking crap about you behind your back and hell i never said one ugly thing about you to anyone even after i find out all the bad stuff you say about me or lied to me about! because i said thats not important! i dont need to stoop to your level! Now i find out you and my old co workers are bash talking me behind my back but you guys still have the nerve to call me and ask how im doing how my baby is! how dare you act like you care about my child! or me! its not so much that i care to the point of its going to make me depressed and sad but it really hurts my feelings that ppl are that shallow! im a good friend and people always end up taking advantage of me! i would drive a hour out of my way to take someone home who i knew needed it and the next day they would be talking shit about me!

Just please if you are a friend be a friend. and dont make your co workers you real friends you need to be friends with people that you dont see everyday! because as soon as you get mad at each other your going to start talking shit to about each other to everyone else then when it comes back to that person feelings get hurt! i know i havent always been the best kind of friend to people but i always ended the friendship before it got to the point of just down right hurting your feelings because i was mad at you. so if your my "friend" and you think so little of me as to talk crap about me behind my back or about my baby or anything in my life when i have worked SO HARD to be where i am today please just forget me! just forget that im here just delete me from your life. because im tired of part time friends! im tired of people being my friend to benefit them! tired of ppl wanting free services out of me! tired of ppl wanting me to help them but never giving any help! so for all the people who know that they are sucky friends this one is for you guys out there in cyber world!!!

What does labor feel like?

Well today i have felt all kinds of sick! i felt like i had heartburn. i felt like i was gonna spew and then my stomach has been upset. Anyone who tells u pregnancy is a beautiful thing and u glow the whole time forgets to include the fact that u swell, gain a whole lot of weight, your shoe size goes up about 2 sizes on average, u get bladder and urinary tract infections, you get yeast infections, your nose spreads and gets bigger!, you eventually feel like a giant obese person in bed and cant roll over, you get hemroids (if they say they dont they r just prissy!), you get stretch marks in odd places that you thought would never spread like ur boobies! especially if you have small breasts or they are just not very round before hand.

other than that i love my baby and i am so glad to be having her and i will deff have another baby and go through this again but i just wanted to let any body who reads this know pregnancy is real rough and ugly! haha

but this whole labor thing is slow! ive been sitting on 1, 1.5cms for like a month! ugh then i go in on tuesday and i was still at that. then i go in today because i feel bad ta-da! im 3.5 cms dilated whoop! so she decides shes going to help my labor process and strip my membranes! let me tell u it doesnt hurt hurt but i sure wouldnt want someone to do it all the time! I had tears come out of my eyes i think she had her fingers so far in my cervix she could touch my babys nose! since then ive been having a whole lot of contractions and it feels like her heads trying to bust out of my vagina! just to put it bluntly. haha.

Please learn to drive...

Dont you hate when your driving down the road, following all the proper procedures and wham! Someone side swipes you! Well that happened to me today. A speed friendly college student who was driving his girlfriends old suv killed my new little car:( its mostly cosmetic to the side of the car but its the point of the matter! If you are turning right on red please make sure that someone isnt in the lane first! i mean he practically t-boned me! the little ass hole! he got out of his car just crying because he hit a pregnant lady! well duh! you better be lucky that you didnt deploy my air bags!!! Then i call work and they were like well are you still coming in? uhhhhh NO im going to the hospital! i am 9 mths pregnant and just got into a car wreck! i got to the hospital and they were like ugh no if your pregnant and you get into a wreck you better come in. since the accident ive been having contractions every 20 mins and ive been feeling pushing pressure in my vagina area. i know that was a little tmi but there just isnt any other way to say it! haha. but they went ahead and sent me home they said honestly at 38 wks pregnant those were normal things to feel anyways and that if they get 10 mins apart to come back and that i could be in labor labor! And there is a full moon coming up so hopefully things will work out!

my baby child is on her way!!!

I can not wait to post pictures and see what she looks like myself!!! all i know is that im tired of working! and im tired of working with slackers and people work slow so that they dont have to do as much!

about 4 weeks to go!

Baby Allison is on her way! and im excited. ive been noticing way more contractions especially when i walk or stand a lot! so im taking that as a good sign. hopefully she will be here by the first week of october! because im tired. i never knew that being pregnant made so many things happen at once. and whoever said that pregnancy is always awesome and nice lied! haha i never got sick but i have had everything else. gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, nerve problems, puppps! and everthing else! if u can get it i have gotten it and a bladder infection! and idk how i got that. but i do love my little pookie and i cant wait to meet her. would i do it again. yes i would! atleast one more time but im not one of those crazy women who are convinced they are building gods army or they want like 6 or 7 kids sorry but yall are retarded! haha. i think the biggest complaint i have is my friggin crotch hurts all the time! if anyone has any suggestions on how to fix that or what causes that please let a sista know! other than that im ready to have this little beautiful bundle! and  im hoping that with every bit of pressure my butt feels that its getting closer because my poor feets are so swollen i cant even bend me toes!

diapers diapers and more diapers! hooray!

I think im becoming obsessed with becoming a mommy! i just can not keep myself out of her nursery!!! yesterday i sat on the floor and arranged the boxes of diapers like 20 times. Then i bought a diaper stacker at good will thats white and has lace and everything on it and i put the diapers in there and took them out and put them back in and kept doing that forever lol. until it was perfect! And i went and bought a recliner yesterday and it rocks and swivels! Its a ugly brown swede color so i covered it with a nice crisp white sheet!!! and covered the top with a pink handmade quilt!!!

Work, being pregnant and such...

So i have been officially working at great clips for a month now. And honestly i really love my job. I might be almost 8 months pregnant but im still getting up every day and putting in my 9-5 or 11-7:) I dont mind working i never have. And everyone that i work with is very supportive. And i think that is why i like it, because no one is trying to make my life difficult lol. And besides the fact that i make pretty good tips and my pay check is a whole lot nicer than any other job ive ever had. Plus i sell pretty good amouts of product as well:) i could sell you a bag of poop if i tried lol.


Besides work i find my time for delivery coming ever closer! And im not ready! i wish i could go back to when i felt like cleaning and working on the house and do everything that now seems impossible to do!!! Because all day at work im READY! im on a roll and i could work 9-9 but as soon as i get in my car to go home its like all the tiredness of the day just comes over me all at once! And by time i get at home its all i can do to take a shower and wash all the hair off of me before i collapse lol. much less make dinner then clean my house...My poor house. thats another story. Im ashamed to invite anyone over! my poor kitchen is a all time stinky wreck! i couldnt find the smell in the kitchen i looked and looked and i cleaned and cleaned and it was the stinking bag of potatoes in the tater box! So now one half of my house smells like poop! So for the past hour i have been peeling good potatoes and chucking stinky ones. and i put the good ones in a freezer bag and they are in the freezer. because i cant eat potatoes right now:( Then i peeled two whole bags of soft apples that would have never been eaten! And now my house smells of cinnamon apples on the stove! yummmmy! 


But my nursery isnt finished!!! I am in a panic about my nursery! The walls are literally only half way painted. And everything is in the center of the room! Everyone has promised me that they would come help me paint it and then noone ever shows up! So it looks like im going to have a unfinished nursery! because im not even supposed to be painting....


And dont let me get started about little things like vacuuming. I guess its not a big deal that things dont get done but it still bothers me that i just cant get them done because im so tired... Oh well....

does everyone have to be a drunk?

Cant we all just get together and just enjoy each other company without everyone having to be a damn drunk? yes im pregnant, and yeah i never drank before i was pregnant even though i was over 21. but you know it seems like it used to be fun to just go have lunch, hang out watch a movie or something chill a little bit. but now days its not happening unless everyone is drinking. its a drinking party. well you know what your the ones who look stupid the next day when ever your all over not only your facebook but all your friends and all over the bar or club you was at and you have a black eye because you tripped up the stairs or something or a sprained ankle or a broken toe all i have to say is my toe isnt broken now is it nope! so if you cant be my friend because im not one of your new found drinking buddies and we cant be friends with out you expecting me to drink with you or im suddenly not as cool as you because all your friends are fucking drunks then maybe we shouldnt be friends anymore! i mean if you cant respect ppl then your the idiot! idiot! gosh ppl r just jack ass's

New things....Changes for the better

Blue! is todays color of choice haha. 


Well im sleepy. Yawning and very tired. And all Rex wants to do is play fetch... Im so sick and tired of fetch! And if you dont play with him all he does is bark and bark! Its honest to God driving me crazy lol. 


Well for the past year my hair has been driving me crazy. And i have honestly stopped dealing with it at all and just either throwing it in a pontail or on days i try to do something with it i throw it in a pony tail by the end of the day haha. So since i had the day off i decided to drive up to Great Clips in Randleman and pay a little visit to muh friend April! She done chopped off all my hair and i love it! it feels amazing and honestly it looks just like it looked when i first met her haha. So thank you bff i will gladly pay to get a hair cut. because my hair looked like major crap! Next time i drive up there hopefully it will be to take care of this half colored crap! 


In the past month i have quit my job at harris teeter and started working full time at Great Clips myself! i really like it. My blood pressure has went down and i feel a lot better! it could be partly because im not having to wear a hat everyday or horrible thick as hell polo shirts! but either way im happy that my life is finally taking a more positive route instead of the bumpy road less traveled haha. because honestly that road sucks!!!

Little Things Im Tired Of!!!

You know sometimes a girl just gets tired of bull shit! Like when one day you have someone riding up your ass worse than a string thong and then the next they are horrible, rude, mean and even the same way to your husband. You know i can take a so called friend acting like a douche to me but if your going to be ugly to my husband im pretty much going to slap your face son! because neither one of us can help it that your life sucks! That nothing is ever going right for you! Maybe your some of the issue? If everything you touch turns to gold then maybe you have a golden touch. but if everything in your life sucks maybe you just got issues!Then your lame ass is going to call me and say what are you doing? oh nothing that sucks so then all over facebook you invite all of your friends to go out and guess who doesnt get invited? the pregnant girl! Well hell aint i a friend too? You slut! yes i said slut because im mad and i can! I dont honestly understand y im friends with certain two faced people! they make me sick

First Blog in forever

Ive been really slack in my blogging. And for the most part that is because my laptop has a virus that ive just been to cheap to go get removed! LOL. So i am once again going to have a little baby! I have plenty of ultrasound pictures and he/she is so precious and cute!!!! I cant wait to find out what it is!!! And i want everyone to know that NC is COLD! again! like 45 degrees kinda cold. i cant deal with this lol. its getting a little out of hand here. God turn some heat on set it on 68 lol. So i have a new saying that i think everyone will enjoy. "I can see you so much better through the wholes in my back" its so powerful! its amazing how someone u think is ur friend can stab u in the back because they are reading to much into a facebook status and think that its about them! y would u think i was talking about u unless u was the one acting like that and talking about me behind my back and being a jealous bitch? well she deleted me from her facebook and blocked me and i told her i wasnt talking about her and that i didnt even know where she would get that from. Well by the end of the day shes sorry! boohoo its kinda hard to swollow with that big foot in ur mouth isnt it! so i was like i am going to b mad at her i am going to b hurt! ive never hurt her and her treating me like a traitor was not to be accepted! So i didnt call or message or even acknowledge her after her appology. and guess whos texting on my door! hello! i cant believe ppl! they make me so mad! Im sorry u cant ovulate and im sorry ur husband has jacked up soldiers but i have not ever once thrown that in her face! but if i was mean i would now. since ive been pregnant i have no filter and i really dont care what i say anymore LOL so if i was a mean person and i really did want to do that then i would! 

ICE DAY!!!!!

Blue is for bad weather! haha


Today i have been stuck in the house all day because over the last two days we have gotten ice, snow, ice, slush,  sleet, snow, rain, ice..... And the list goes on. School was cancelled today and they have already cancelled tomorrow as well! So i have severe cabin fever!!!! Arggghhhhh


Today my day has been eventful... not... I woke up at 8 to stevens phone ringing... Then he got up cause he couldnt sleep and then the cats got up and was moving around and then i couldnt sleep so i just got up too. Then the giant pile of dishes that i started yesterday was still there! so i finished them, then i put the ingredients for homemade chicken noodle soup in the crock pot turned it to high and made some soup! Then for breakfast i diced two redskin potatoes, half a onion, and added olive oil to a skillet and skilleted me some breakfast LOL after they was all brown and nice i added some scrambled eggs. Yummy it was amazing oh i forgot the biscuits. haha u know i dont always eat healthy! but idc! because im fat and happy and i likes it LOL. Then I ate and re washed all those dishes then i did some laundry, cleaned the kitchen. watched Willie Wanka and the Chocolate factory and Robin Hood men in tights. HAHA then i got up and dished the soup then i washed more dishes then i did more laundry. Then i ranted and raved about how my sister is not taking care of my dog in my absence then i took a 3 1/2 hr nap. then i knitted some then i made a bowl of cereal and here i am at 10 pm bored bored bored bored bored!!!


CABIN FEVER!!!!! Tomorrow i have to do something!!!

First Blog in forever!!!

So today was the first day back in cosmetology school.... Yes i finished back in ol' '09 but i got frustrated at some people and never took my test to go to state board. Well i took it but i didnt pass. And i dont feel like i was being taught properly so yeah. Now im at a different school with redneck pageant queens that have big hair and fake nails! That say HAY YALL!!!! and tease their hair so much that it looks way to big for their heads! haha i wanted to laugh but i couldnt they looked so weird. and they were kinda snooby but i stuck to myself today. I painted a girls nails and she thought i did the best job since revlon came out with multiple color polishes. Since i didnt have my kit because i bought i new one i watched the other girls and the teachers were praising their crappy up-dos and half assed marcels and i said self now i know why the other girl was impressed with my polishing skills. because basically noone has a whole lot o' talent! but im hoping that this was just because it was a fool around day LOL. Because i had to do way better then any of these girls put out today at my old school haha. And what topped the cake was when i walked into the class and sat down and one of the fat girls walked up to me and said uhmmm the beginners are in the other room... I said im not a beginner... and smiled and she sat back down. Then the teacher introduced me and said i had finished the program already i just had to make up 20 haircuts and everyone was like wahhhh????? huh???? yeah so then i was the shit everyone wanted to know my name and where i was from. yeah it was ok.... haha.

then in the theory part of the class the teacher had me write down what i needed to work on and what was my weak points in the theory area and i said everything. I needed help... haha cause obviously i never passed that at the other school but i did find out that his whos name shall not be mentioned, was teaching the class wrong and so now i hope that i can actually learn something! AMEN!

 Then when i got home and was opening my new kit and as i put everything into the new containers i bought i realized that my bag was to small... oh joy... So now i have two choices i can either put my perm rods in a zip lock bags and return the containers i bought or i can buy a bigger bag... the zip locks might win...

Then i came home finally and after a long day i knew i had been smelling something. It was the fridge... And my mother in laws mothers leftovers that have been growing different specimens of mold in about 40 diff butter containers. so then after i started dinner i dumped all the stinky moldy food and started washing dishes. OMG 45 mins later i stopped ate dinner and still have not finished those damn butter containers! but they stink!!! OMG steven said leave them for momma to wash...He just doesnt understand. I feel like the mold is going to grow and smother me in my sleep!

Then today every school in NC was closed except mine, and as i sit here at 10:15pm and there is freezing rain outside its still not closed but i have to say i may not b going if the roads are icy tomorrow!

Bless my heart!

So yes I have been a very bad girl and not blogged in a long time! But I have been very busy and had alot going on and alot on my mind...

So for starters, I am now hapily married to the man of my dreams! I love my Steven very much! And he makes me completely happy in every way. Honestly i wouldnt imagine him not being with me. We had a fabulous wedding on November 13th and it was everything I had ever hoped to have in a wedding. I cannot wait to get my pictures back so I can share them with my friends and family!

I found out one of my great friends has liver cancer. I have not known Anita as long as some of my other friends but she is still very dear to my heart! I am very sad for her because she has chosen not to recieve treatment for her cancer because she doesnt want to feel sick. but everything that I have read about liver cancer says with or without treatment it is very painful and still makes you very sick. I just think about her family and how she is the cement that holds everyone together. And if she dies with this cancer then so does really the relationship between alot of people. Pray for her. She is a really great person.

I am also trying to find me a new job! I hope to get a full time job somewhere like the hospital or something. I honestly dont think that I want to work at Harris Teeter much longer. They are taking away all full time positions and now noone is going to be promoted to full time. So basically it is useless for me to be there much longer! So I think it is time for me to move on.

I cant wait for Christmas! I love this time of year! If only it wasnt so dang cold! haha. I hate the cold! I like looking at it and I like walking through it every once in a while but I cant stand being COLD! all the time! haha. i would just prefer to be comfortable all the time instead.

Big Girls Dont Cry!

Well since i last posted alot has happened to me that i havent really felt like talking about until now. Sometimes deep wounds take a month or so to heal. Well for starts to catch any new visitors up. Once i was pregnant. And for any of you who know me that was the highlight of my boring existance, then i had a miscarriage. I mainly blame it on stress, anxiety, and a bunch of other things but my doctor rounded it all out to my hormones not rising properly. Which happens to about 80% of pregnancies but since you end up getting your period soon most women never know that they have had a chemical/spontanious abortion. But the doctors with all their smarts and mighty wisdom seem to think that i would have been around 4 months but it had started to slow in development and then just stopped all together so in all honesty it was probably about 2 months or so along.

After my lose i feel into this deep dark depression that not many people know that i went through. Not even Steven. I hated everything about babies. If i saw one i hated it. It wasnt mine. It was satans spawn for all i cared. And i hated all pregnant women. All of my friends with new babies and the ones who were pregnant i hated them too! I wanted everyone else to have a miscarriage like me so that they knew how i felt because all the bull shit they kept spouting about it will be ok you can have another one was pissing me off! i wanted to scream shut up bitch your child is still alive. mine died. i hate you! basically i was about to go off the deep end and i kept all this in because when i talked about it people looked at me like i was about to go columbian on them. And i might would have if one more of my friends bubbled to me about their pregnancies and how damn cute their little pooper was! I didnt care! i wanted you to be mourning with me not telling me oh look what so and so did today or i felt him kick! shut up! Jesus! help me!

So i went to the doctor  and was like look. I need drugs i hate everything and everyone. And i cant stop crying on the inside. And i cant stop eating. haha. eating.... But she said it was all perfectly normal. I didnt need drugs, i wasnt about to kill someone and it would all go away in time. And now four weeks after the sudden death of my child those feelings are slowely going away. I dont care anymore. And i still feel like i cant talk about it as much as i want to to my friends because everyone acts like they dont care. I mean i know u dont know how to help me. But sometimes i feel like i need to get things off my chest and express myself to people. So if i come a texting please text me back! i mean sometimes it could be a important message coming next.

But enough with the sad talk. A while back i posted about stevens aunt getting married and her having a nice little ceremony with family in the yard and i said oh i want that! So i started planning! Well syk! haha. that isnt going to happen my wedding has turned into a full blown! princess dianna replay! I have a big dress, I have big flowers, i have brides maids with matching dresses, men in rented tuxedos the whole nine yards! plus its going to be at my church! in the evening, lights dimmed, candles everywhere, im going to have a lighted arch, unity candles, a grand piano player, someone singing, a five tired cake, a buffet line, flower throwing, garter toss, cans on the back of my car! its going to be amazing! and if your either not invited or you cant make it sucks for you. BUT i am registered at walmart.com! and i do accept cash and checks! So my wedding is Nov.13th 2010! And im now very excited about this! Its finally happening! im finally walking the isle! i cant wait. Its going to be so perfect! Im going to attatch a few of my bridal pics hehe