People growing up and changing?

My sister got engaged.... Its exciting and fun I guess but shes wanting to do things a lot with other people and she doesnt realize shes hurting people feelings when she says she doesnt want their help. And she told my grandma she didnt want our little sister in her wedding because she wouldnt stand still she will be 10 years old shes the same age as she was when she stood in our dads wedding! So I told her I didnt want to be in it if she didnt want our little sister in her wedding. She said well i havent made up my mind yet but you were It was going to be one of her good friends a couple of other friends and then me. Her sister on the end. And i had her as my maid of honor in my wedding... I said ok. Thats fine she said well we dont always get along and me and so and so get along so i asked her. I said thats fine. Im her older sister. I had told my dad i was going to go with her at tax time and buy her wedding dress. Because i was her older sister and her matron of honor and i felt kinda motherly over her. But not now... I dont want to do her hair. I dont want to plan a shower. I dont want to go. She hates our little sister so bad because she was born and she took her old room. She wants that old room back so bad! She will tell you she hates her for being born! Because she took her room. My sister has a major middle child problem. And for her to hate our sister so much that she doesnt want her in her wedding is so mind boggling to me that i cant even grasp the whole thing. I had a big come to jesus with her! I said im not going to be in your wedding period. You pick friends over family and then you exclude your own sister! She said well they asked first... i didnt have no friends ask to be in my wedding! I just can not even get over that. Now shes saying she doesnt know who shes gonna have in it. And she might have our sister... That breaks my heart. Your siblings is your siblings! final! even if i was arguing with them if they needed me for ANYTHING i would be there for them. I am beyond disappointed and heart broken that she could think like this... I told her too. she said well everyone is telling me who should and shouldnt be in my wedding and where would be a nice place and people keep telling me ideas and want to help and i dont want their help... I said they only want the best and to help you. I made my sister my maid of honor because she was my sister i didnt ask any of my friends! Honestly i didnt care My baby had died a month before my wedding. I didnt care if i got married or not. My sister didnt plan me a shower or help me pick out anything or get me a gift or anything. And i never said one word. Til now. i told her how sucky of a job she did as my MOH. And i wished now that shes acting that way towards her sisters that i had of asked someone else... But for her to break the heart of a child thats her sister! is beyond me... Shes so childish herself i guess she cant help it. its sad.

Suspended from work? Maybe....

Yeah it happened... So what? LOL 

Well it all started when this girl hadnt been written up since she had been there because our manager has no back bone at all. She is the type of worker who comes to work 20 mins later shes like I have a migraine so shes sitting on the stoop lookin like a crack head smokin a cigg! And wearin her big black shades! Then 30 mins after she gets there shes like I gotta go I cant work with this head ache! So she would just straight walk outta the shop! And leave! So guess whos gotta work til from 10-9pm! ME and she was messy! She would do nothing but eat saltine crackers all over the shop! And leave crumbs everywhere you would always see piss ants carrying off crumbs like thanks for the food! And then I would get asked to clean up her nasty crumbs and clean down her station and put her hairy clippers away and clean her dirty combs! So I had spent the entire previous day cleaning combs and brushes because people just throw them in the disinfectant without washing them first and they are sitting in the drawers full of hair. Yeah makes you want to go get your hair done right? And  cleaning out stations and scrubbing down messes that other people were just to lazy to do before they left. So she had left her dirty hairy clippers at a station 3 days prior. Our big boss had come into the salon and asked whos nasty clippers are these? I said idk. So i have to clean them up! Again! So the store manager hides them she said well we will find out whos they are! I knew they were hers! Well she comes waltzin in the shop like idk what happened to my clippers but i need them! Blah Blah Blah! 

So i told her where they were but i said you need to start cleaning up your stuff Im tired of always having to clean up after you! Im not your maid! She said I know how to do my job dont start with me I got a migraine! (shes a known pill popper she even has asked customers for pills (y is she still employed!)) (So she was prob coming off of a high) So i told her dont be a bitch to me! Clean your shit period! IDC! what is wrong with you im not cleaning your stuff no more i will throw it in the dumpster! So she picks up her clippers and says im gonna smash in your teeth and bust you in your head say it again. I said what bitch? Yeah your a bitch clean your shit. She runs her mouth the other girl is freaking and she said no dont hit Kellie she will kill you! I said she isnt going to hit me she would have already You dont give people warnings. So i clocked out and i opened the door and told her she could bring her white trash outside if she wanted to act like we were in the trailer park! And i would stomp her old ass in the parking lot! So she starts crying and calls the manager. because she knew i was gonna stomp a mud hole in her! And they called the owner, she got fired and i got suspended. AND THEN! they gave me my shifts back! I was like mother fuckers! you just want a paper saying i got suspended! It was some shit! They told me even if people are trailer trash bitches i cant call them that! I have to be professional i said i think i did act really professional when I didnt get up and snatch her by her hair and drag her outside if she woulda hit me with her clippers i would have had to stomp her ass and hurt her. But as soon as i stood up she ran in the back and locked the door... SMH! Trashy!!! I swear. But that was the first time i have ever been disciplined at work! The owner and area manager were very shocked! I said well im going to stand up for myself! and if she had been fired a long time ago i wouldnt have had a altercation with her. Plus my grandpa had died and that was on the day of his funeral! And i wasnt allowed off for it And had to work! And the handbook says im allowed 3 days off. So yeah that making me work thing back fired on them. And my manager got in trouble for making me work while i was grieving because she had the day off and i offered to switch with her! So yeah try to take me down bitch! Ill sink the whole damn boat! And the same day i got a job offer from sports clips... still debating that offer!

A year later! What next?

Almost one year ago I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl anyone could ever ask for! NOW! She is almost one year old and I do not know how to feel about that! I have watched this amazing little person grow from being a 10.2 pound baby at birth to a 24 pound toddler! This past year has been so life changing for the better! I love her so much! I wake up in the mornings with a smile because shes there to greet me and shes so happy to see  me! I really am having a hard time dealing with her growing up! I dont remember those baby days as easily now. I really honest to God feel like i need medication because I have done nothing but be emotional ALL the time! Thinking about her growing up and not wanting to be my little girl one day about does me in! But I am planning her a wonderful birthday surprise! Not that she knows what that is yet but Im enjoying myself! Happy early birthday to my Sweet Allison Rose... I would not trade anything in the world for you or anyway you are! You are my pride and joy!!! I love you forever!

OH LOOK IM BLOGGING!

so its been a while last time i was here i was on the verge of going crazy! but alas im sane! but i must say i am enjoying work. its pretty nice. there are a few dumb asses every where u go but u know this is a pretty awesome store. and im making pretty amazing money... thats always nice. i can pay all the bills support my family buy baby needs and etc on what i make alone. im pretty awesome. I am totally in love with my sweet baby child she is the best person in this world! she has made me a wonderful person. u know im pretty happy with the life choices ive made. i have a house, a husband, a baby, a car, a great paying job. oh and amazing dog! he is pretty awesome right now hes chewing on a deer antler! because thats how awesome he is. he likes his organics over fake nasty plastic or rawhide! he says no mom they are yucky! give me deer! so on another note i got allisons pictures made today! shes so pretty! be jealous! oh on a side note u know whats awesome about antler? he cant go through it so fast! that thing lasts foreva!

A lil ol update on muh lifes!

So as most ppl know when i went back to work after maturnity leave i was transfered to another salon! and honestly i hated it so bad! i have never in my life worked somewhere that everyone hates each other SO bad! one person isnt there oh lets talk smack! lets make up crap lets do both and then freak on them the next time they walk in... yeah since i have been there i have been so stressed i have had bronchitis a sinus infection and shingles! yeah its been serious. And as most ppl have heard my work is having a 5.99 hair cut sale coming up. well thats a big deal we will have about 2+ hr waits all day for ten days! So when ppl are walking around work talking smack about they are going to quit a wk before the sale and leave us hanging because they are mad at the world and hate their life i mean y do you have to make my life difficult! ugh i hate that salon so bad! its everyone not just one person! then one girl quit and came back and whats the first thing that happens they try to talk smack about me well she shut them down she said we were great friends and i was her best work friend and she had no issues with me and thats how it was going to stay. so they stopped trying to make my life difficult for a while then they started to change tactics now they are trying to make us hate each other. im like u know yall bastards have no life. your nothing but a bunch of drunk pot heads! who come to work fucked up and the managers appearantly like the shit and baggage u bring so they talk about how much they want to replace you but never fire your crummy ass! i mean appearantly i dont fit into their ring so they dont like me. cause when i first came there and they asked me about certain extra activites i was into and i said uhm i just had a baby i dont think getting high and partying all night with you and taking pills is part of my lifestyle you had issues with me. BUT the light has shown through! im finally being transfered again! im going to a greensboro store! YAY im so excited! ugh the ppl here hopefully wont hate me because i have a strong work ethic and i dont want to do drugs with them i mean WTFH! really that just pisses me off i walked into work today and they were like we cant make any money today cause ur here and you cut faster than us blah blah blah. well y is it taking you 25+ mins to do clippers on the sides and shears on top? i can keep n my guide lines and i sell products EVERYDAY and yes i do make more money than yall but u know what its cause u stand there and run ur mouth and dont cut! thats y ur slow! no one cares about ur issues they want to tell u about theirs! duh! and this guy today freaked the hell out he said he was never coming back if it took 40 mins to do a 3 on the sides and finger length on top! this chick is slow and old get your slow old ass a booth if u want to take that long! ppl dont want to hear about ur fat butts infertility problems or anything else! shut the fuck up and cut. i mean she got upset but uhm 40 mins really i did 3 cuts in the time it took u to do that plus sold a product and made tips off each person then a girl tried to keep my tip today. we had a combined ticket and she did the lady i did the man they left 5 dollars to split. i know that aint a lot but it adds up! i said uhm they only left 5 wheres my half. she said oh i thought they tipped u too.... i aint made no money all morning your ppl have been tippin mine havent! i said i dont care! i did half that ticket split it chick! she acted pissed but u aint takin my money bitch! and this store steals! you cant bring nothing in the store! they will go through your purse! steal out of your wallet go through the text messages on your phone you have to keep a password on your phone! thats some shit. then when you call them out on it or u tell the manager it all flys back in your face your the bad guy well next time i catch someone on my fucking phone im going to jersey shore their ass! and bitch slap em! bring it on! oh im so glad to be moving thank you dear general manager for moving me! because i was seriously looking for another job! i hate bitches...

Real friends...

Its funny how you can be friends with someone for so long! and they do nothing but hurt you... I mean if your working at a job and we have worked together for 4 years and you get transfered to another store then get fired and you LIE to me about WHY you got fired then im at my store saying how unfair it is of them to fire you when you did nothing wrong they were just discriminating against you because of health problems or something and the manager has to pull me aside and tell me that you were fired for STEALING! that hurts my feelings so bad! and you never ever ever say anything to disprove that! gosh... i today mourn a friendship with someone who i thought was not only a friend to me but also a family member! and someone who i could talk to. but i guess you know something is fishy about it when they dont even come to your wedding. you know.

And then when you try to be a good friend and be there for them through the death of their child and be there for them when all hell breaks loose in their family and they are crying and have no one else on their side you find out they are talking crap about you behind your back and hell i never said one ugly thing about you to anyone even after i find out all the bad stuff you say about me or lied to me about! because i said thats not important! i dont need to stoop to your level! Now i find out you and my old co workers are bash talking me behind my back but you guys still have the nerve to call me and ask how im doing how my baby is! how dare you act like you care about my child! or me! its not so much that i care to the point of its going to make me depressed and sad but it really hurts my feelings that ppl are that shallow! im a good friend and people always end up taking advantage of me! i would drive a hour out of my way to take someone home who i knew needed it and the next day they would be talking shit about me!

Just please if you are a friend be a friend. and dont make your co workers you real friends you need to be friends with people that you dont see everyday! because as soon as you get mad at each other your going to start talking shit to about each other to everyone else then when it comes back to that person feelings get hurt! i know i havent always been the best kind of friend to people but i always ended the friendship before it got to the point of just down right hurting your feelings because i was mad at you. so if your my "friend" and you think so little of me as to talk crap about me behind my back or about my baby or anything in my life when i have worked SO HARD to be where i am today please just forget me! just forget that im here just delete me from your life. because im tired of part time friends! im tired of people being my friend to benefit them! tired of ppl wanting free services out of me! tired of ppl wanting me to help them but never giving any help! so for all the people who know that they are sucky friends this one is for you guys out there in cyber world!!!

What does labor feel like?

Well today i have felt all kinds of sick! i felt like i had heartburn. i felt like i was gonna spew and then my stomach has been upset. Anyone who tells u pregnancy is a beautiful thing and u glow the whole time forgets to include the fact that u swell, gain a whole lot of weight, your shoe size goes up about 2 sizes on average, u get bladder and urinary tract infections, you get yeast infections, your nose spreads and gets bigger!, you eventually feel like a giant obese person in bed and cant roll over, you get hemroids (if they say they dont they r just prissy!), you get stretch marks in odd places that you thought would never spread like ur boobies! especially if you have small breasts or they are just not very round before hand.

other than that i love my baby and i am so glad to be having her and i will deff have another baby and go through this again but i just wanted to let any body who reads this know pregnancy is real rough and ugly! haha

but this whole labor thing is slow! ive been sitting on 1, 1.5cms for like a month! ugh then i go in on tuesday and i was still at that. then i go in today because i feel bad ta-da! im 3.5 cms dilated whoop! so she decides shes going to help my labor process and strip my membranes! let me tell u it doesnt hurt hurt but i sure wouldnt want someone to do it all the time! I had tears come out of my eyes i think she had her fingers so far in my cervix she could touch my babys nose! since then ive been having a whole lot of contractions and it feels like her heads trying to bust out of my vagina! just to put it bluntly. haha.